Getting Paid to State the Obvious

Getting Paid to State the Obvious

If you’ve ever wondered where some of the government’s money disappears to, here are a couple of examples. I woke up this morning to see not one, but two news stories on my local news channel that just made me spitting mad. Two separate research studies were done, and while I don’t have proof that they were funded by the government, I’d be willing to bet some government grants were used. In any case, here are the results of these two incredibly informative studies. (Please note that this was sarcasm)

Research Study #1 discovered that helping correct the eyesight of senior citizens does not necessarily prevent them from falling down. Duh! It’s not that they can’t see, you idiots!

Research Study #2 discovered that senior citizens who do things like climbing ladders and cleaning rooftop gutters often fall down, as compared to those senior citizens who sit or lie down all day. Duh!

This makes me so stinking mad. I think I’ll get in on some of this research funding and do some research on senior citizens too. Hmmm…let’s see. I bet I can come up with the test AND the results without ever having to even do the study itself.

Senior citizens more frequently complain about aches and pains than 18-25 year olds. Now…where’s my government funding?