I have two questions for you this holiday/end-of-year season. But before I get to the questions, I wanted to tell you about a special little boy I know. His name is Cody. Ten or twelve years ago, he was born premature and with many physical/mental challenges. They said he wouldn’t live more than a month. Well, little miracle that he is, he proved them wrong. Sure, he has problems, but he’s still here, and he’s…well…special. I can’t really describe it more than that. You just know it when you meet him. There’s just something special there.

I don’t get to see Cody very often. He’s the grandson of a cousin-in-law, so I see him now and then at family gatherings. One such gathering occurred yesterday and Cody was there. Because he doesn’t see me often, he always asks me the same question - “Who are you?“. I always respond with the typical, “Hi, Cody, I’m Donna.” Sometimes I’ll even tell him how I’m connected to him via family he knows well. Yesterday, after answering his question, he looked at me and asked a second time, “Who ARE you?“.

This time, although the words were the same, the question was different. I could see something in his eyes and hear something in the tone of his voice, that let me know that my pat answer of my name and connection to him wasn’t the answer he was looking for.

Cody lives in a somewhat different “reality” than most of us do. For example, yesterday, he had a conversation with a lamp. Apparently the lamp told a funny joke, because Cody laughed and laughed and laughed.

I think Cody wanted to know “who I was” - he wanted to grasp the essence of me. Am I someone he can trust? Am I someone to be afraid of? Am I someone who, like the lamp, tells funny jokes to make him laugh? Am I mean? Do I anger easily? Am I caring? Am I serious? I don’t think Cody was looking for names or labels from me. He didn’t want to hear, “Donna / woman / SEO / grandmother / sister / daughter / whatever”. Those names / labels mean nothing to him. I may never truly know exactly what Cody was asking me, but I think he was looking for the essence of me. And you know, his question - “who are you” - is a darn good one.

I thought long and hard about that question last night. It’s one we should all answer for ourselves now and then. This time of year is a good time for that reflection upon ourselves. So between now and December 25th, I suggest you ask yourself that question. If you met Cody in the future, and he asked, “Who are you?”, how would you answer?

I mentioned that I had two questions for you, and I do. From the 25th through the 31st of this year, I think we should ask ourselves another question. “Who do I want to be?”. I now know the answer to the first question, but maybe I would like to add some things to the answer, or subtract some things from the answer, so that “who I am” eventually becomes “who I want to be”.

But first I have to know who I am and who I want to be before I can become who I want to be. We all need to know that about ourselves, don’t you think? My holiday / end-of-year wish for you is that you discover the answer to Cody’s question about yourself. You never have to actually tell anyone the answer, but you should know what the answer is.

Happy Holidays, Seasons Greetings, and Best Wishes from whoever I am to whoever you are.

(from Smash Mouth. "AllStar" Astro Lounge. Interscope Records, 1999.)

Posted on December 16th, 2007 by DazzlinDonna
Filed under: Life